


Midnight Doubts

by Fu_Dragon



Category: Kung Fu: The Legend Continues
Genre: Drama, Established Relationship, M/M, POV First Person, Romance, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-31
Updated: 2012-08-31
Packaged: 2017-11-13 06:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/500436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fu_Dragon/pseuds/Fu_Dragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter is all alone on New Year's Eve, beating himself up about the way he and Kermit parted. Maybe there's a glimmer of hope?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Midnight Doubts

Midnight Doubts  
By Fu-Dragon

Rating: PG 13  
Fandom: Kung Fu:The Legend Continues  
Pairing: Peter Caine/Kermit Griffin  
Genre: Slash  
Warnings: None

Disclaimer: All the characters from Kung Fu: The Legend Continues do not belong to me. They belong to Michael Sloan and their respective companies, creators, and trademark/copyright holders. I will return them in almost the same shape I got them in.

 

I stare at the calendar. The big red number 31 stands out. I can't avert my gaze. Over and over I replay our farewell in my mind and still, if possible, I could kick myself in the ass for what I did. No wonder Kermit didn't come back. 

Tears blur my vision and finally I'm forced to look away from the accusing red figures. I'm not surprised that my hand is trembling as I run it through my hair. Shifting my gaze to the clock, I see there are only twenty minutes left to midnight – then it's New Years. A new year without HIM. Why the hell did I behave so stupidly? 

I grab for the bottle of whisky beside me. All I want to do right now is to drown my self-pity and self-accusation in the amber-colored liquid. I really don't know how many drinks I'd had, but still, it wasn't enough…at least not enough to make me forget. I'm not even drunk. Shit, and now the bottle's empty. I watch the last drop running slowly down the tinted glass – just a single drop – not enough. 

In a sudden rage I jump to my feet and hurl the bottle against the wall. It just bounces off the solid stone, then lands with a soft thud on the carpet. 

Damn! No satisfying sound of breaking glass! Why didn't it shatter? Shatter like my life? 

I feel like a very old man, as I move over to pick up the empty bottle and throw it away. The ringing phone interrupts me. Briefly, I consider just letting it ring. But what if it's Kermit? I can't take the chance of missing his call. 

I pick up the phone. "Peter Caine," I croak into the receiver. 

My unrealistic hope crumbles to nothing as I hear the first sounds coming down the line. Shit, it's Jody. I roll my eyes as I listen to her cheerful babbling. I'm tempted to simply throw down the receiver and cut off the annoying voice. For the umpteenth time over the last few days, she tries to persuade me to come to her party. 

To hell with it! I don't want to celebrate with the rest of the gang! I don't want company! And, one thing's for sure, I don't want to watch happy faces all around me kissing and hugging at midnight when I have nothing to celebrate. 

I can't stand her voice any longer, it's grating on my nerves. I tell her very rudely to back off and leave me alone before I slam the phone back in its cradle. 

Regret overwhelms me. Jody doesn't deserve such treatment. I know she is only concerned about me and just wants to help. Great, one more person I've hurt badly! I want to grab the phone, call her back and tell her I'm sorry, but I'm paralyzed , simply can't overcome myself. Jody is not Kermit. The only voice I want to hear is his voice. Jody will have to wait. 

I turn around and head for the liquor cabinet. If I'm lucky, I'll find another bottle to drown my sorrows in. 

Oh yeah, what a lucky guy I am!…the bar cabinet is empty – of course! I remember Kermit and I needed to refill it after the birthday party - seems we forgot. 

The only bottle remaining is Kermit's special brand, a very old scotch...for special occasions. I reach for it, but then I withdraw my hand. No, I can't do that. Using this fine brand to get drunk is sacrilege. 

I tasted it once, Kermit had poured me one after our first love-making. Clearly, that was a day to remember. Funny, I still remember how it tasted. I can remember the silky feel as the fine brand caressed my taste buds. The only thing that tastes better than this drink, is feeling Kermit's lips on mine. 

Damn it! Why do I have to think about that it now? In a fruitless attempt to shut out the memories, I clutch at my hair. My mind has a will of its own. I double up, hit by the force of the memories that slam back into my mind… 

There at the beginning, the first tentative steps when we realized we were in love. All the wonderful moments we spent together, the passion, the fire that only Kermit can put out and then re-ignite. A touch, a gesture, a simple smile from Kermit and I am lost. But the most vivid memory is the one from a week ago. Why did I have to do it? I love him so much, why did I have to make it so hard for him to leave? Will he come back? I doubt it. Not after everything I said. 

"Kermit, I'm so sorry," I say shakily to the empty room. 

I flinch at my own voice. It sounds so hopeless, so full of despair. I don't need a mirror to know that there is a hollow and empty look in my eyes. I take a shuddering breath and stumble blindly across the room. 

I manage to drag myself to the couch before I lose it completely. Sobbing, I collapse into the cushions, a helpless victim of my own memories that now threaten to finish me off completely. Mercilessly, I am forced to live through it again. 

 

*flashback*

It's the day before Christmas Eve. Kermit and I lie in bed, relishing the aftermath of a sweet and tender love-making. We snuggle very closely, I can feel his hesitation, as I know he has to leave in a few minutes to wherever he goes on Christmas. He hasn't told me yet where he disappears to each year, and I haven't pressed the point. I know, he will tell me when he's ready. I just wonder when that will be. 

Kermit moves, he kisses me on the lips and I feel my body respond immediately to the tenderness of his gentle touch. Tears well up in my eyes as he breaks the kiss, gets up, and heads for the bathroom. I know the time to make his farewells has come. 

I listen to the sounds of the shower. I'm tempted to join him there but I know he doesn't want my company. Despite knowing that it's as hard for him as it is for me to leave, an avalanche of anger washes over me. I embrace the sensation with all my heart; anything's better than feeling the pain of Kermit's imminent departure. 

It's Christmas for heaven's sake! A time for family, friends, and especially lovers to be together! 

Why the hell does everyone have to leave me? Pop, Paul and now even Kermit. Do they care so little for me that they don't mind leaving me behind… alone and hurting? No, they can't love me. Each time they say they love me, it's just empty words; something they say to reassure a starry-eyed Peter Caine. And every time I fall for it – until now! They use me and then they throw me away like an unwanted puppy. What am I? A stuffed toy? 

No! Not anymore! I'm not a doll you can stuff back in the closet when you don't need it anymore. 

The red haze of seething rage and the gut-wrenching fear of loss eats me up. It displaces all other feelings. 

Kermit emerges from the bathroom, dressed for the journey. I watch him picking up the small suitcase from the floor. Before he can pull me in a last hug, I flee out of the bedroom to the living-room. Kermit follows hot on my heels, I can feel his questioning gaze searing into my back.

Arms crossed, tapping my foot on the floor, I stand at the door blocking his exit. His face is an unreadable mask as he puts down his glasses and the suitcase and stares at me, studying me. 

"You know, Love, I don't want to, but I have to leave for a few days. I'll be back as soon as I can," he says full of regret and reaches out to me for a last kiss. 

The words are the final straw! I violently flinch away and explode like a fire-cracker. We have a very bad and heated argument. I say things I don't mean, but I can't help it, it just pours out. I accuse him of not loving me...and more. It ends when Kermit shoves me away and opens the door, his unprotected eyes blazing with anger. 

He yells at me, "You're behaving like a spoiled brat! I wonder if you'll ever grow up!"

Shaking with fury and fear, I say the ugly words before I can stop myself.  
"Kermit, if you leave me now then don't you ever come back!"

He doesn't hesitate, just grasps the door handle harder. Then the door slams shut into my face. 

*end flashback*

 

I roll into a ball on the couch, not able to endure the flashback any longer. "Make it stop, please make it stop," I plead silently, gasping for air. 

Someone must have heard me. Suddenly, there are gentle hands that pull up my crumpled form. Strong arms encircle my body and draw me into a comforting embrace. Caring fingers caress my hair and travel soothingly down my back. A familiar scent drifts to my nose, a familiar baritone croons into my ear. 

"Shhh, … Love, everything's fine. I'm back, calm down."

I fight against the man holding me, convinced that my weary mind is playing tricks on me. What a cruel way to enact revenge for all my bad behavior! I refuse to open my eyes for I know all I'll see is an empty room. 

I manage to choke out between sobs, "No, go away. You are not real. You can't be!"

The embrace slackens. Hands grip my shoulders and shake me. I don't react, I know it's just my mind, a daydream-nightmare, though a very vivid one. The strong hands move upwards, closing around my face, squeezing firmly.

"Come on, Love. Open your eyes, look at me, damn it!"

The hands around my face are squeezing harder, fingers dig deep into my unshaven skin. It's starting to hurt. I try to pull out of the grasp, but I can't break out of the grip. And all the time, there is this enticing voice I love so much, telling me to open my eyes. Maybe, if I do what the voice demands, the illusion will vanish?

Very reluctantly, I crack my eyes open a slit. I gasp, still in a state of absolute denial. I have to have proof. Taking a shuddering breath, I reach out and gingerly touch the rough fabric of my soul mate's jacket. It feels real under my fingertips…very real. His hand fastens over mine and he squeezes it reassuringly. The simple touch sends sparks of fiery delight through my whole body. 

My eyes open wide in utter surprise. It's him, it's really him! I follow each masculine line of his beloved face with my eyes. His face that is in every pleasant dream I have. Finally, I stop at his eyes and drown in the depth of the chocolate-brown pools that are looking at me, so full of love.

"K…Kermit, y…you are here," I hear myself stammer. 

Kermit laughs softly. His fingers caress my cheek with a feather light touch, while he still presses my hand against his chest with his other hand. I can feel the thundering rhythm of his heartbeat.

"Where else would I be to celebrate New Years, Love?" he asks with a hint of mischief. 

A radiant smile spreads across my face. Just a split second later I sober, recalling the horrible words I'd uttered as he left me the day before Christmas. The memory makes me shudder violently. 

"Kermit, I'm so sorry for what I said to you. I never meant…"

Kermit cuts me off in mid-sentence. "It's okay, we both said things we didn't mean. I came back, didn't I?"

"Yes, yes you did," is all I can manage before I am pulled into the shelter of his arms. The air rushes out of my lungs as I land in his steely grip, but I am as happy as I can be. I hold on just as tightly, clinging to him as if he was my lifeline. 

I don't know how many minutes we spend in our embrace. I just know I'm savoring the wave of love, safety and unconditional trust that washes over me every time we are so close. I can also feel our souls touching, each welcoming back the missing part, merging together as one. 

Kermit lets go of me, and pulls out a black jewel box. Questioningly, I look at him. 

"This is the reason I'm so late. I had to make a detour to pick it up. And before you ask, no it couldn't wait," Kermit explains. 

I can only stare at the small square box, now resting in my palm. 

"Uhm…. the surprise is inside the box, not the box itself. You have to open it," I hear Kermit tell me. His voice sounds amused but there is also an uncertain touch to it, as if he's unsure how I will react. 

I do as he suggests and my heart skips a beat. Inside, resting on a black velvet cushion, is a beautiful ring in what appears to be white gold. I pull it out and take a closer look at the finely carved figures in the small band. It's a griffin, a crane and a tiger, living together in perfect harmony...like Kermit and I do.

Then I spot the engraving in the inside of the ring. I read: To my Soul Mate, in Eternal Love. Kermit

Tears of joy flow freely down my face as I look at Kermit. I'm at a loss for words, but I know my eyes are telling him everything my voice can't. They always do. My heart's overflowing with love for this man who means everything to me. 

Kermit gently places the ring on my finger, his sure touch easing the trembling in my hand and in my soul. 

"The ring is my way of saying that I will never stop loving you, Peter. And I will never leave you alone, next year you're coming with me. Promise," Kermit whispers, the simple words saying so much more. 

"And I will never take it off," I say, my mushy brain not able to come up with anything at that moment. 

Kermit's smile shows me that he understands nevertheless. He reaches out and draws me nearer. Distantly, I hear the chime of the church bell that announces it's midnight. 

"Happy New Year," Kermit whispers, before he claims my lips with such tenderness and so full of emotion that it takes my breath away.

On the streets the fireworks start but we are too occupied creating our own fireworks to be bothered about watching. 

The End


End file.
